Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
