shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
