I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
