my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
