dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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