I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
