Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
