Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
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