it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
She bit a glass in half.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Randomize
