someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
