Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
