I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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