I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
