a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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