Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I got her a Nickelback box set.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
