Where is the hickey?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
