I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
