All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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