Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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