i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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