i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Randomize
