I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Blood and glitter go together right?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
