is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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