If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
do herpes really smell.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
