Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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