grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
