My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Randomize
