actually, I'm a sock model
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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