that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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