oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Randomize
