Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
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