my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
