1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
