i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Couch. On fire.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
