i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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