The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
