FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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