Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
