Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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