even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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