I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
