No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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