I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Randomize
