Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
