Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
