The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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