after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
