im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
