You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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