i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
