so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
