it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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